Best of the Aughts

My Life in 10
Best of the Aughts

10. 2003 – Learning how to deep-throat from my hooker friend, Tatjana

Being able to deep-throat has given me immense pleasure and when I feel he’s had enough sucky-sucky, I just deep-throat and make him cum.
And twice I’ve used my skills to get what I want from undersexed husbands: a trip to Turcs & Caicos with my best friend and a great paying part-time job at Mercedes-Benz.

9. 2002 – Switching my major from International Business to English/American Literature

Yeah, I thought I was a straight up cut-throat business woman, but who would have thought that you need that much math?!
During one of my composition classes my prof commented on my writing skills and after flunking class after class in business, I felt it was time to rethink my goals. I wanted to be rich, filthy rich and con people out of their money. At least that’s what I thought.
I went undercover for a week, drank heavily and emerged as an English Lit major. My new future: no money, no fame, but lots of conning.

8. 2006 – Finding the love of my life

He was Persian-German, he was a rebel, a poet, a business major, a bartender, a guitarist. He was wild and tender. We would make passionate love under the stars, by the lake, in his beat up Ford.
We would go biking by the Neckar and Rhein with nothing more than a bottle of rum, limes and cola.
Cuba Libre was our drink, and we were free, free of restrictions, free of jealousy, free of conventions, free of others. In this world we created it was only the two of us.
When our ways parted he wrote a poem and spray-painted it onto the wall of our university.
Till this day, the poem is there, 28 meters of concrete dedicated to my perfect love.
I left him for New York City.

7. 2009 – Moving out of my 8×3 foot room in Bed-Stuy and into a brownstone in Park Slope

When I lived in Bed-Stuy I would walk over to Park Slope on the weekends, go to Gorilla Coffee and daydream about, one day, living there.
When I finally moved into my dream place, I cut my bangs, bought all black clothes and found myself in the process. Nice to meet you, Charisma.

6. 2004 – Being nominated for a foreign exchange year at the University of Alabama

No, I did not give anyone blow jobs! The one phrase I heard the most during my year in Tuscaloosa: “But you don’t look German!”

5. 2005 – Getting kicked out of my favorite club for giving a guy a BJ in the bathroom

No big deal, that happens to everyone, I know. But the club belonged to my uncle and I am his favorite niece and the family’s good girl, at least I was up until then. After that, I had no expectations to live up, I was a free-bird.

4. 2000 – Working for 5 years then realizing that I want to go to college

There has to be more out there, I thought, more to learn, to experience than toiling for the man the next 45 years. That was probably one of the best decisions of my life.
I come from a working-class family with middle class aspirations, the first to go to college, the first to not be married and have 2 kids by 26. SUCCESS! Actually I hadn’t even graduated from college yet when I was 26. FAILURE!

3. 2008 – Being offered the position of US photo editor for Gala

My boss decided to leave and follow her guru around India.Sometimes it’s all about being in the right place at the right time…and being a really good intern without an attitude and lots of energy.

2. 2007 – Finishing college and getting an internship at Gala magazine’s US office in New York City.

Gala is Germany’s leading weekly fashion/celebrity/beauty magazine.
I was ecstatic, crazed, out of my mind from happiness! I didn’t care that New York is one of the most expensive cities in the world and that I would only be making $600 a month.
I was willing to live in hole and eat nothing but rice and beans, and I did.

1. 2009 – Making friends and overcoming my self-imposed status as lonely wolf

2010, here I come!